Phillips seeks forgiveness for herself after years of keeping shameful secrets
By Stacey Silberman
Mackenzie Phillips wants forgiveness
HOLLYWOOD, CA, (HollywoodToday) 9/26/09 – Mackenzie Phillips (“One Day at a Time”) confessed what some would consider one of the greatest sins of all time. She admitted to having a consensual incestuous relationship with famous deceased father John Phillips, (Mamas and the Papas), over a 10-year period beginning at age 17. Now, in order to heal her drug-addled life, Phillips wrote a book seeking forgiveness both for herself and from herself. “Forgiveness isn’t for the other person. It’s not to give the other person peace,” said Phillips to Oprah Winfrey. “Forgiveness is for you.”
The book called “High on Arrival” is making waves in Phillips own extended family, as relatives and loved ones grapple with what Phillips admitted on national television, in her book, and numerous interviews. During her first appearance on Oprah, Phillips described her first alleged sexual entanglement with her father saying, “I woke up that night from a blackout to find myself having sex with my father. I don’t know how it started.”
Phillips and her father indulged in intravenous drugs at the time. Phillips, 49, also claimed that her father first injected her with cocaine when she was a young teen.
As a result of Phillips’ public confession, the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) has reported a 26 percent spike in hotline calls and an 83 percent spike in website traffic since the story aired. Phillips’ public forum has opened a new door for all those affected by the aftermath of rape and incest.
This sordid story gives others hope that family and friends will understand their own plight of pain and suffering. It becomes such a burden to harbor dirty little secrets forever. The guilt eats a person alive if they don’t get help at some point in their lives.
Even some of Phillips’ extended family members have a tough time swallowing her story. Especially Michelle Phillips, Mackenzie’s stepmother and a former member of the Mamas and the Papas. She told the Hollywood Reporter that she does not believe Mackenzie’s story. She went on to say that Mackenzie experienced bouts “of mental illness” and that “she’s had a needle stuck up her arm for 35 years.”
Michelle struck back by saying that “Mackenzie is jealous of her siblings, who have accomplished a lot and did not become drug addicts,” said Michelle.
However, Chynna Phillips, Michelle’s daughter and Mackenzie’s half-sister disagrees. “Somebody could have dropped a piano on my head, and I probably wouldn’t have felt it. But I knew it was true,” said Chynna to US Weekly upon hearing the confession from her sister. “I mean, who in their right mind would make such a claim if it wasn’t true?”
Phillips responded to the criticism from some family members and others who don’t believer her experience. “My answer to that is – and I understand this is a difficult thing for my family – nobody’s talking about this,” she told Oprah during one of two interviews. “So if I started a national dialogue that will help other people face this issue, I am forever grateful.”
Chynna also spoke to Oprah on her own to defend her sister’s first interview on the show. “I was praying for her the whole time because it is a very, very taboo (conversation). Many people were repulsed, Many people were horrified at the allegations. She had the courage to come out and talk about it, and I’m proud of my sister.”
She also said that while she supports her sister’s story of incest and consensual sex between her and her father, she doesn’t like the publicity that it’s brought upon her family. She also doesn’t endorse the entire accuracy of the book.
Mackenzie returned the support from her sister Chynna by telling Oprah that “I am more in love with my sister than I have ever been…I’m very proud of you…I’m really sorry to put you in that position. But I don’t regret writing the book.”
Mackenzie’s other half-sister Bijou Phillips, expressed a different perspective on the claim, as read in a statement on Oprah on her behalf. “When I was 13, Mackenzie told me that she had a consensual sexual relationship with our father,” wrote Bijou, “This news was confusing and it was also scary, as I lived alone with my father since I was three.
“Mackenzie’s history with her father is hers, but also clouded with 30 years of drug use,” Bijou’s statement read. “I hope she can come to terms with this and find peace. The life I had with my father was very different. He was Mr. Mom, encouraging and loving. The man that raised me would never be capable of doing such things, and if he was, it is heartbreaking to me to think that my family would leave me alone with him. I understand Mackenzie’s need to come clean with a history she feel s will help others, but it’s devastating to have the world watch as we try and mend broken fences, especially when the man in question isn’t here to defend himself.”
Mackenzie and sister Bijou remain friendly, but have not spoken since the show aired.
According to her interview with Oprah, Mackenzie is trying to work out her inner demons and feelings of intense shame for what happened between her and her father. Accordingly, inner peace is her motive for the tell-all.
Some experts believe that the wrong kind of father daughter relationship develops over the years on a seemingly innocent level. “I don’t think that it’s fair to say that the abuse that began at 17 is the fault of the child,” said New Orleans Psychologist Michael Bradley to ABC News. “Typically, we find the abuse started much earlier in ways that were kind of borderline, slow steady, leading to these increasingly abusive behaviors.”
All victims of sexual abuse suffer immeasurable shame regardless of what role they played in the situation. It’s a scar that never wholly heals. This Hollywood Today writer can tell you from personal experience that rape is rape and it’s ugly in every form of the word! Whether it’s date rape, teen boy rape, father daughter rape, or any form of forced sexual abuse. Talking about does help the healing process.
Mackenzie now taking things one day at a time
32 responses so far ↓
1 Crystal // Sep 26, 2009 at 11:21 am
I believe Mackenzie because I too was a victim of incest. Unlike her case my mother knew my 2nd oldest brother was molesting me and my older sister, and SHE COVERED for him! Just like Michelle is covering for John. She told us if we told our father she would beat our ass and tell him we were lying. She told us we were alseep, it never happened we were just having bad dreams…. My father went to his grave never knowing the truth. My mother & brother are still close after all these years. This happened to me over 45yrs ago, my sister & I do not speak to my mother or brother to this day. I went through therapy to get the help I needed. The bottom line is we are the Victims and we should stop protecting thess animals. Wow, the rapist is NICE, hard working people, you could never believe they would do something like this? It’s all a cover up to ensure that if the victim did tell know one would believe them…..because they are so nice…! Get you head out the sand and read between the lines. Tedy Bundy was a murder who confessed to 36 murders, but no one could believe he done it because he was what? SO NICE! Now I believe Millions of men & women are now panicking because Mackenzie Phillipls turned the light on once again to people who commit incest. This is a crime that has not social level, because the poorest of poor to the richest, and most famous families have experienced this. They are terrified that instead of keeping it in the dark like it has been for 100′s of years that their victims might start speaking up and sending these sick rapist straight to jail and I hope they rot there!!!!
2 anon // Sep 26, 2009 at 12:16 pm
apples and oranges!! rape is not consensual! what happened to the commentor was horrible, to be sure! it was rape! it was none consensual! what happened to mackenzie was her choices, consenual. that’s not rape, just a series of bad choices at best. i’m so tired of hearing about victims from people who are only victims of their own poor choices. i feel for them. i’m sorry for them. i hurt for them. i do. i really do. i’ve made my own bad choices. i know. i hurt too!! but stop blaming the partner just because they were older. consenual is consensual! unless the person is a child so young they are incapable of making a real decision for him/herself, or handicapped and the same… then we need to stop being so ready to call foul!! or cry wolf!
3 anon // Sep 26, 2009 at 12:16 pm
apples and oranges!! rape is not consensual! what happened to the commentor was horrible, to be sure! it was rape! it was none consensual! what happened to mackenzie was her choices, consenual. that’s not rape, just a series of bad choices at best. i’m so tired of hearing about victims from people who are only victims of their own poor choices. i feel for them. i’m sorry for them. i hurt for them. i do. i really do. i’ve made my own bad choices. i know. i hurt too!! but stop blaming the partner just because they were older. consenual is consensual! unless the person is a child so young they are incapable of making a real decision for him/herself, or handicapped and the same… then we need to stop being so ready to call foul!! or cry wolf!
4 perri cohen // Sep 26, 2009 at 12:57 pm
i am burning all my old M&P albums. i feel sorry for McKenzie and always liked her in those old shows. He is disgusting and if he could do drugs in front of her and shoot her up with coke as a young girl, who with any brain would dispute his actions?? his drug addication poisoned every one he touched. he is vile.– this “father” has no boundaries, no morals, was very F**cked up and did the same to his daughter.
I hope she can heal now that he is dead, where he belongs to be
5 perri cohen // Sep 26, 2009 at 12:59 pm
i am burning all my old M&P albums. i feel sorry for McKenzie and always liked her in those old shows. He is disgusting and if he could do drugs in front of her and shoot her up with coke as a young girl, who with any brain would dispute his actions?? his drug addiction poisoned every one he touched. he is vile.– this “father” has no boundaries, no morals, was very F**cked up and did the same to his daughter.
I hope she can heal now that he is dead, where he belongs to be
6 perri cohen // Sep 26, 2009 at 12:59 pm
i am burning all my old M&P albums. i feel sorry for McKenzie and always liked her in those old shows. He is disgusting and if he could do drugs in front of her and shoot her up with coke as a young girl, who with any brain would dispute his actions?? his drug addiction poisoned every one he touched. he is vile.– this “father” has no boundaries, no morals, was very F**cked up and did the same to his daughter.
I hope she can heal now that he is dead, where he belongs to be
7 perri cohen // Sep 26, 2009 at 12:59 pm
i am burning all my old M&P albums. i feel sorry for McKenzie and always liked her in those old shows. He is disgusting and if he could do drugs in front of her and shoot her up with coke as a young girl, who with any brain would dispute his actions?? his drug addiction poisoned every one he touched. he is vile.– this “father” has no boundaries, no morals, was very F**cked up and did the same to his daughter.
I hope she can heal now that he is dead, where he belongs to be
8 Debra // Sep 26, 2009 at 1:05 pm
Hang in there, girl. He is setting the captives free.
9 Echo // Sep 26, 2009 at 2:00 pm
It took a lot of courage to go public with this. I believe her story. Anyone who’s watched her grow up in the public eye knows that she was a troubled young lady. This is probably why. I wish her the best.
10 Hope // Sep 26, 2009 at 2:39 pm
I believe MacKenzie and I support her wholeheartedly. I have lived through a similar experience and had to go through therapy where my therapist had me read a book called “The Betrayal Bond”. It talks of the “Stockholm Syndrome”. Anyone who knows what that is knows how this kind of thing can happen. It’s where the victim bonds with their abuser. Patricia Hearst is an example of this as well as Elizabeth Smart. I am very glad this is coming to light because maybe some abusers will think twice about it and victims might find a measure of healing. In my case I have to say there is a part of me that is fearful of how far my abuser would go to ever keep me from speaking up. Thank you MacKenzie for your courage. I will pray for you and your efforts and journey.
11 Nikki // Sep 26, 2009 at 2:48 pm
In no way can father-daughter incest be called “consensual”. The power dynamics between parent and child are far too skewed for there to be genuine consent.
What I see is the same age-old story: dad has a problem and warps child in a way so profound that even long after the abuse stops, the child believes she is responsible.
Sad.
12 God Bless // Sep 26, 2009 at 2:59 pm
To the commentor “Anon” – you feel no sympathy for McKenzie? You want her to shut up? Do you honestly believe that she “chose” a consensual sexual relationship with her father at age 17? Her father had been doing hard drugs with her since she was even younger. I pity her and greatly sympathize with her – by her own account, she says that the first time she was “blacked out” – when she was 17 years old. What she did later is probably a result of the intense shame and guilt – perhaps she wanted to “punish” herself for “making” her father sleep with her. Since she feels so much shame that she needs to come out with this news to help others, it leads me to conclude that it really wasn’t “consensual” but for whatever motives she continued, it was from deep psychological pain and illness. McKenzie and anyone who has suffered from something like this – I can only send you my heartfelt sympathy and prayers. God bless.
13 freud // Sep 26, 2009 at 3:10 pm
People, you need the brush up on the Electra
Complex. Not everyone is a victim. This weird
psych-sexual behavior has been going on since the beginning of time. The father was wrong. MacKenzie, by her admission of “consensual”
is not in denial and is on her way to recovery. The real deep psychological scars will heal because she is taking ownership of her desires. Seventeen is not a child twenty years ago.
Sometimes blaming everyone for your actions
is not the way to go. You must be honest with
your behaviors and desires. It’s easy to
be a victim, but the real healing when you
turn it around and admit maybe you were
an active participant and wanted the acts to
take place. I am not saying all cases of incest are like this–most cases the child, or teen
is the complete victim.
14 huey // Sep 26, 2009 at 3:41 pm
freud, so you’re saying she wanted it. sounds a lot like the justification given to rape “she was asking for it” “she wanted it.” Mackenzie has made it clear that she was blacked out the first time, and if you listen closely to the Oprah interview, she says consensual, but follows it with an example of waking up after blacking out with her pants around her ankles and him sleeping next to her. what part of that ACTUALLY sounds consensual? none of it!
15 bk // Sep 26, 2009 at 10:09 pm
wow
this bitch hears something from the drug-addled tongue of her half-sister and, automatically, without much thought (typical cunt), she assumes her father was an incestuous rapist. naturally, men are always presumed guilty in this culture, so this shouldn’t be surprising (just look at the Duke Lacrosse case or the fact that roughly half of sexual assault allegations in this country are false).
Is it any wonder men shoot their wives? What an awful society we live in.
this guy may have done it, he may not have done it, but I’d like more proof than simply mackenzie “I snorted my life up my nose” mackenize’s insistence that it happened – 30 years after the fact.
This must be want people mean when they talk about “delayed reactions” in accusing a man of rape or incest; in other words, I get cut out of the family estate or I am an embittered bitch with emotional problems and I smear my ex, my father or my brother.
16 bk // Sep 26, 2009 at 10:13 pm
wow
this bitch hears something from the drug-addled tongue of her half-sister and, automatically, without much thought (typical cunt), she assumes her father was an incestuous rapist. naturally, men are always presumed guilty in this culture, so this shouldn’t be surprising (just look at the Duke Lacrosse case or the fact that roughly half of sexual assault allegations in this country are false).
Is it any wonder men shoot their wives? What an awful society we live in.
this guy may have done it, he may not have done it, but I’d like more proof than simply mackenzie “I snorted my life up my nose” phillip’s insistence that it happened – 30 years after the fact.
This must be want people mean when they talk about “delayed reactions” in accusing a man of rape or incest; in other words, I get cut out of the family estate or I am an embittered bitch with emotional problems and I smear my ex, my father or my brother.
17 bk // Sep 26, 2009 at 10:13 pm
wow
this bitch hears something from the drug-addled tongue of her half-sister and, automatically, without much thought (typical cunt), she assumes her father was an incestuous rapist. naturally, men are always presumed guilty in this culture, so this shouldn’t be surprising (just look at the Duke Lacrosse case or the fact that roughly half of sexual assault allegations in this country are false).
Is it any wonder men shoot their wives? What an awful society we live in.
this guy may have done it, he may not have done it, but I’d like more proof than simply mackenzie “I snorted my life up my nose” phillip’s insistence that it happened – 30 years after the fact.
This must be want people mean when they talk about “delayed reactions” in accusing a man of rape or incest; in other words, I get cut out of the family estate or I am an embittered bitch with emotional problems and I smear my ex, my father or my brother.
18 bk // Sep 26, 2009 at 10:13 pm
wow
this bitch hears something from the drug-addled tongue of her half-sister and, automatically, without much thought (typical cunt), she assumes her father was an incestuous rapist. naturally, men are always presumed guilty in this culture, so this shouldn’t be surprising (just look at the Duke Lacrosse case or the fact that roughly half of sexual assault allegations in this country are false).
Is it any wonder men shoot their wives? What an awful society we live in.
this guy may have done it, he may not have done it, but I’d like more proof than simply mackenzie “I snorted my life up my nose” phillip’s insistence that it happened – 30 years after the fact.
This must be want people mean when they talk about “delayed reactions” in accusing a man of rape or incest; in other words, I get cut out of the family estate or I am an embittered bitch with emotional problems and I smear my ex, my father or my brother.
19 bk // Sep 26, 2009 at 10:13 pm
wow
this bitch hears something from the drug-addled tongue of her half-sister and, automatically, without much thought (typical cunt), she assumes her father was an incestuous rapist. naturally, men are always presumed guilty in this culture, so this shouldn’t be surprising (just look at the Duke Lacrosse case or the fact that roughly half of sexual assault allegations in this country are false).
Is it any wonder men shoot their wives? What an awful society we live in.
this guy may have done it, he may not have done it, but I’d like more proof than simply mackenzie “I snorted my life up my nose” phillip’s insistence that it happened – 30 years after the fact.
This must be want people mean when they talk about “delayed reactions” in accusing a man of rape or incest; in other words, I get cut out of the family estate or I am an embittered bitch with emotional problems and I smear my ex, my father or my brother.
20 bk // Sep 26, 2009 at 10:22 pm
I like how all the women on this site automatically assume he did this
what a surprise. Typical: vaginas are always looking for new ways to dehumanize men; really, it is true that the feminazis took after the nazis in the manner in which they vilified (and continue to vilify) men (what’s ironic is that they also took after a jew named Saul Alinsky who gave unprincipled radicals some rules on how to gain power by unethical means). In any case, this is a bullshit article by a jewess who cares not at all about whether or not this claim of Phillips is true.
basically, these women cleave to the view that, if you throw enough mud, some of it will stick
21 r // Sep 27, 2009 at 4:41 am
Some of these comments are whacked…. look at some of the racism, sexism, and complete hysteria in the above remarks……… I will still listen to M & P……not sure why….. I agree that he was the original rapist… not she….. but, is it helping the rest of the family to go on Oprah?….. I suspect not…. I don’t think it’s about healing….. possibly as a message to other people… the whole thing is is vile…. and so are some of the reactionary comments…. above…
22 r // Sep 27, 2009 at 4:41 am
Some of these comments are whacked…. look at some of the racism, sexism, and complete hysteria in the above remarks……… I will still listen to M & P……not sure why….. I agree that he was the original rapist… not she….. but, is it helping the rest of the family to go on Oprah?….. I suspect not…. I don’t think it’s about healing….. possibly as a message to other people… the whole thing is is vile…. and so are some of the reactionary comments…. above…
23 Lwv6966 // Sep 27, 2009 at 10:11 am
Am a Mamas and papas fan, say that right off. If the allegations are true why are they comming out only after John is not herfe to deffend himmself???? Accusor is a long standing drug abusser and only famous for the father she is trashing.” Means to help other victims?” Bet she she banks the royalty checks from the book! Will still love the music, and not give this crack head another minute of my time. Even if the allegations are true, why now!?!? ( remember folks she was arrested earlier this year for “GUESS WHAT”????) Maybe she needs to pay her laywer!
24 jennybean // Sep 27, 2009 at 10:39 am
It seems like her entire family says that Mackenzie Phillips *did* tell them this 12 years ago, when her father *was* still alive to tell his side of the story. I find it odd that there’s no mention in any of the stepmothers’ statements that he, John, said it never happened. Isn’t that the first thing you’d do, if your stepchild said something like that to you?? And wouldn’t your first comment now be, “Let me tell you, I asked him and he said it was BS”. But maybe he *didn’t* deny it. Or maybe they were too afraid it was true to ask him…
The whole premise of the stepmothers’ argument (“no matter how high he was, he could never have done this”) is preposterous. Anyone who has known a junkie knows there is *no limit* to what they are capable of. It’s a sick, sad story that shows both father and daughter as pathetic addicts, but it seems more likely true than not.
Also, Bijou Phillips has the word “Daddy” tattooed on her ass (truly). And she has a song with the refrain “he touched me wrong” which she acknowledged in interviews is about her father. So, what does that say…?
25 Brian // Sep 27, 2009 at 4:29 pm
I just read her book and I believe her. I also forgive her. I think we all should. A very differnet life than your average person.
Hold your head high Mack and good luck to you and the entire family. Love from Canada!
Note to Keith Richard: A your a goof for leaving her in that falt AND your book better be better!
26 Alethea Marina-Nova // Sep 28, 2009 at 11:04 am
It’s amazing how the Mackenzie’s family members who disbelieve Mackenzie will admit to the fact that John Phillips had a serious drug problem, but God forbid anyone should admit that he could have also been having an incestuous ‘affair’ with his own daughter!
Where the hell do the disbelieving family members think Mackenzie’s drug and mental illness issues came from –if not the very rape and incest that she is proclaiming???
Michelle Phillips calling Mackenzie “jealous of her siblings” is pretty disgusting. Michelle Phillips is trying to degrade Mackenzie just like perpetrators so often do. Michelle Phillips might be the one who is suffering from jealousy. Maybe Michelle is jealous of Mackenzie’s incestuous relationship with John? This is typical of wives who find out their husbands were having sex with the daughter. As an incest survivor, I know by personal experience.
27 Marjorie McKinnon // Sep 28, 2009 at 4:53 pm
Anyone who is an incest survivor would doubt Ms Phillips story. It is sad that the details turn people off. If they think it’s too much to cope with think how Ms. Phillips must feel. Healthy sexual behavior has boundaries and one of them is you never, never have sex with your child, whether that child is 3 or 17 and especially not if you are the parent. The parent is supposed to guide, to lead, to raise their child to be a responsible and happy adult. Ms. Phillips father flunked that exam.
28 Marjorie McKinnon // Sep 28, 2009 at 4:55 pm
Anyone who is an incest survivor would never doubt Ms Phillips story. It is sad that the details turn people off. If they think it’s too much to cope with think how Ms. Phillips must feel. Healthy sexual behavior has boundaries and one of them is you never, never have sex with your child, whether that child is 3 or 17 . The parent is supposed to guide, to lead, to raise their child to be a responsible and happy adult. Ms. Phillips father flunked that exam.
29 SteelersFan // Sep 30, 2009 at 11:04 am
BK,
Just wanted to say how incredibly ignorant you sound. You are the type of man who gives us other men a bad name. You obviously do not understand the dynamics of the cycle of abuse and drug addiction – nor do you comprehend the development of the adolescent brain and it’s limits. In fact, it sounds to me like you’re in a prison somewhere and that you are bitter about being convicted of rape or domestic abuse. Hmmmm….. am I right? I don’t think they should let convicted abusers use the internet and subject the rest of us to their ignorance.
This case in not a matter of male/female. It is a case of a FATHER violating his DAUGHTER!! Do you not get that??? Probably not. I’m sure I’m wasting my time trying to explain it to you but maybe you should do some research on the cycle of abuse and the dynamics of incest before you sit on your high horse and judge. Now go ahead and write back more of your ignorant comments with curse words thrown in to make yourself sound especially intelligent… I’m looking forward to it.
30 YM // Sep 30, 2009 at 7:12 pm
Having lived with a substance abuser, I would like to point out that when the substance abuse begins, normal mental and emotional developement slows down drastically. It’s undisputed that Mckenzie’s drug use started at a very early age, so when the sexual relationship began her real emotional age was probably much younger than 17.
And BK,
Whatever point you are trying to make, your vulgarity, profanity, and obvious prejudice will only make reasonable people dismiss it.
31 Taylor // Oct 2, 2009 at 2:24 pm
Shame on Michelle Phillips even if she had a needle in her arm for the years (that was initially place there by her sick rapist also a junkie father) who would mistake 10 years of sex with ones’ father. Everytime a woman says that she is raped there is ALWAYS some twisted person who feels the need to defend the rapist. Sadly we know that all parties involved are in need of therapy but don’t go putting your neck on the block for rapist. As far as her being jealous of her siblings success it just does’nt make any sense , obviously from their comments there is no rivalry just sympathy and understandingly some shame. Get it together Michele the child is the real victim here.
32 quietly speaking up // Oct 4, 2009 at 1:03 am
It’s sad to say but some will believe what they want. I too am an incest victim/Survivor! I can only remember being 6 or 7 and it lasting until I was 15 when i ran away. But I have been told that I was 3 or 4yrs old by my abuser. It’s hard on the victim to tell for several reasons, If you tell then ya have to go to court, and watch those that you love look at you with discust, thinking why did you have to tell your still alive, your not all scarred up! (but they can’t see the scares of the heart)! All they can see is the family name being shamed! For me it was/is a love to hate relationship, I loved my abuser that molested me oh so slowly, like a parent potty trains a child, you think this is normal. then you start to grow up, and learn that this is all wrong, but this wrong is so very confusing! So then you have the Hateful feelings, of an innocence lost! Mackensie You nor I we should Never Ever have to ask to forgiveness, We can ask to be understood. As for those that want to say mean and spitefull things about us well: I once read somewhere a ? “If a man looks at injustice & does nothing, Is that justice”? So I just tell myself that those mean spiteful people are either victims or abusers themselves. And hurting others is their way of dealing with disfunctionalities of the real world they live in! Yes, then we were victims. But, today We Are Survivors! So YOU GO GIRL!
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